DIARY LOG for Chastity Spittoon Day 03
This is day 3 of Bunni’s slutty diary….Enjoy.
So this is only day 3 of my Blog for MST, but I’m now in day 8 of Chastity and my Anal stretching. I must say this last 24hrs has been the most frustrating. I don’t think I’ve wanted to Cum so bad in all my life!
I’ll clarify I’m not actually wearing a chastity device as I don’t yet own one. But my Chastity is enforced with my own will to please Mistress. Of course I could easily cheat and Cum as much as I liked, pretending to have being a good disciplined girl. However, in my opinion if I were going to cheat then why bother wanting a Mistress at all .If I were to cheat I may as well just carry on wanking and fantasising over the thought of being submissive rather than actually being submissive. I do like to think once I set my crazy little male mind (ever increasing girly mind) to something I usually see it through. I can be quite a disciplined little slave.
So as I was saying, these last 24hrs have been a struggle. The need for release with the need to give my little ass a break from the abuse had me close to the edge. However I’m proud of my sissy little brain for fighting the old male urge and today is a new day! My ass is ready for some good old horny girly masturbation (although still a little sore) and my urge to Cum seems to have subsided for now.
I was wondering if this type of feelings were all to do with the whole brainwashing Psyche? The changing of the mind set from one place to another. If you’re reading this blog then I can imagine one way or another you have an interest in BDSM, feminization or some sort of kink!
So I’m sure a lot of submissives have come across the whole hypno type training (please tell me it’s not just meJ).
My take on this type of training is where you try and train yourself to change or act differently. Not relating to any type of BDSM or kink, but I did read that after 30 days of doing something regularly you start to form this type of behaviour as a habit. Although I’m sure MST knows a lot more about this type of thing than I do. I’m not a psychologist!
So is my new way of acting going to turn out to be a permanent change? Turn me from a typical horny male wanting a hot little slut on my arm……to wanting to be the hot little slut on some guys arm? Who knows where MST will take me.
As for the chastity, well I’m not sure if MST has this as a permanent plan for me? Maybe I will get to Cum once a week? Once a month? Only when I visit her? Who knows? I must say the idea of actually buying myself a chastity device is becoming increasingly tempting. I do work abroad for long periods so the idea of wearing a chastity device is a scary prospect but very exciting.
Will I fail and cum before instructed? This is certainly a big worry I have. Fighting that male urge when it raises its ugly head! I would have to inform MST if that were the case and take the repercussions.
Maybe I do have a small inkling of how my new cum routine will go, as MST asked me to come up with 5 inventive ways to ruin an orgasm! Maybe I will put my answers in a future blog.
I just wanted to give a little update today of my struggles!; Sore little ass and a frustrated little cock! Although no sympathy is expectedJ. I’m sure a lot of you reading this have been through a lot worse! And a lot longer than a measly 8 days in chastity!
I do have a few more ideas for future blogs too, Physical changes I could implement to myself, different ways of humiliation I’d like to experience (public, exposure to ex gf’s etc) Mistress has informed me I will do this Blog for one week, after which time who knows if she will instruct me to continue with it…..maybe if it’s upto standard it can become a regular thing?.
Ok all you horny kinksters, that’s enough for today
Bunni xxxxx